The Infamous Spirit World Safari
by materiathief06
Summary: Join Botan, your guide, on a "magical" trip through a perfectly "normal" human city to find some of the most dangerous creatures the world has ever seen. Read to begin your hunt for the illusive Reikai Tantei!


Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho in the slightest. Shoos away rabid lawyers...

This is just for a bit of summer fun, because I'm a feminist who's sick of her other stories and is being prompted to write by her annoying, yet strangely fun, friends. :P

The Spirit World Safari

Chapter One: The Hunt Begins...

"Good Morning, loves! Welcome to the Spirit World Safari! This is the result of an extremely bored feminist authoress who needs something to do! I hope you have an excellent time as we explore the habits of the Reikai Tantei! I'm Botan, ferry girl of the River Styx, and I will be your guide today! Everyone, please keep your arms, legs, valuables, and flowers inside the vehicle, because today's hunted creature is the illusive Kurama...

"This kitsune is often associated with long silver hair, fox ears, and a white tail (or two), but can also be seen with bright crimson hair, and features closely resembling a human! But don't be deceived, ladies and gentlemen! This creature is very dangerous and quite intelligent! Please make sure that you are not tricked into believing him, as he often uses human speech to sweet talk his opponents into a false sense of security!

"Now, everyone please take out your binoculars, and begin your search! Oh, and please don't scream, squeal, or jump out of the vehicle and run after him, for, although he is very hard to startle, Kuramas are born with a fangirl warning device and will escape such beings at all cost. So, please refrain from that sort of immature behavior and, once again, Kuramas are attracted to beautiful flowers and shiny objects, such as jewelry or other valuables. Please keep such items well hidden, as they will only be used as bait to attract Kuramas if none can be found. Have fun looking for the illusive Kurama, and hope for good luck!"

... two hours later...

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, we have yet to catch sight of a Kurama, so we shall take drastic measures and lay a trap to lure him in. You see, here at Spirit World Safari, we take great pride in our customers, and therefore we want to keep them very happy. We think that the Kurama we have been tracking is residing in this human house, so we are placing our trap and bait here. Note that our bait consists of roses, very shiny jewelry, more flowers, hairbrushes, and a letter, so that the Kurama will become curious and take the bait, if not just to admire the bait. Now, everyone please be very quiet and very still, lest he see us and run away. Fangirls, please stay in the vehicle, even if he comes out of the house."

Twenty minutes later, the door to the house opens, revealing a very well groomed Kurama who appears to be going to school, as he is wearing his uniform. He sights the pile of treasure and flowers and raises one fine eyebrow as he walks toward the mound of... stuff... in his path. He cautiously steps towards it and picks up the letter addressed to him. As he pulls the paper from the pile, a string attached to it triggers a huge hole to pop up and a net to fall on the bewildered Kurama.

"Bingo, Bingo, Bingo! We've caught him, ladies and gents! Now, please don't approach the wild demon, even if he does look docile, for he can be very dangerous and deceiving..."

"Excuse me, Botan?" Kurama calls up from the deep pit where he is being contained. "I believe that if I stay here much longer, I will become late for class, which will ruin my perfect attendance record."

"No way, Kurama! This is for paying customers, and they will not be disappointed! I will not fall for your tricks!"

"But Botan, I beg of you! My mother! My class record! My grades!" He was on his knees, begging now. "I must go to school! If you let me out, oh beautiful deity, I will sit with you later and answer questions for your paying customers, but right now, I have no time!"

Botan's blue hair-framed face softened into a smile as she contemplated the options. After a few seconds, she flew down on her oar and helped Kurama out of the hole. As soon as his feet touched the ground, she landed next to him. They both shared a happy smile until Kurama stomped his foot on the ground and the small patch of earth that Botan was standing on collapsed, resulting in the ferry girl being stranded in the pit. She gaped at the redhead as he grabbed the flowers and shiny jewelry, and as he threw the hairbrushes back into the pit, as he obviously didn't need them, and he walked away, admiring his acquisitions.

Botan called her oar to her and floated out of the pit, muttering about stupid foxes.

"Well, you have now seen firsthand the evil lies of the cruel Kurama. Beware his terrible deceptions and become fangirls of someone more worthy. Well, someone else. Find someone. Just not him. He's mine. Don't touch him. Mine!

... umm... Anyways, please join us next time as we search for a less deceptive target, on Spirit World Safari! We find the most interesting people... Byee!"

Well? Anyone like it? Anyone read it? Anyone care? Someone review! Please? maybe? sorta? please?

hahaha... Oh well, I'll update soon... maybe... whatever.

Bai bai, minna!

Yuffie Kisaragi, materiathief06


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